Switching Gears

Switching gears here. I'll get back to cooking expeditions in a bit. Something's been weighing on me so I thought I'd share.

I've heard the Jars of Clay song "Two Hands" before, but never paid much attention. This time, the song came on as I pulled into the parking lot at work today and I decided to sit and hear it out. One line simply says "I use one hand to pull You closer the other to push You away."

About two months ago I made a decision to live out my faith more purposefully, but over the last few weeks it's been a struggle. I finished Today Matters last week, and I'm halfway through C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, but I still feel like I've pushed and resisted disproportionately.

Listening to this song made me realize that I've cheapened my relationship with Jesus. I've taken Him in when convenient, when I felt like it, and, sadly, when no one else was looking. That's not how relationships work. In Matthew 16, Jesus says, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" That whole "losing your life to save it" seems foreign to me. It's tripped me up. I've been up to a lot of different things so far this summer that have brought fun and enjoyment and I've been distracted. It's time to start pulling closer to God daily. I'm ready.

Preview: I'm really excited to share my experiences so far working with Judge Einhorn and interning at the Law Offices of Carl Shusterman. Coming shortly.